Paths taken in life

The other day, me and both of my parents went out for breakfast at a kopi-tiam. While mom was browsing around the stalls, dad and I had a conversation. This is a rough re-typing of the dialogues between me and dad:-

Dad: Son, if you don't like what you're studying, perhaps you could take other engineering disciplines like err,... civil perhaps?

Me: Dad, I told you. I never liked engineering. You can't force me to take that path again, even if it's a different discipline.

Dad: Maybe you could go for something more... more administrative. Less demanding. You see, I've only read about engineering. So, I don't know how does it feel like on your part. Maybe you could re-consider it.

Me: I already told you. I know how it feels like and to be honest, engineering is not my cup of tea.

Dad: Ok. I understand. But, you know, it's going to be difficult to find jobs here if you're going for journalism.

Me: I know, dad. I know the risk I'm taking. But that won't change my decision to pursue journalism. You have to understand, life is never easy. I'd wish it is.

Well, that's about it. Dialogue's kinda cheesy, though. But it does reflect on a dilemma that seems very Asian in nature. Based on my what I've experienced and observed, it seems that Asian parents would typically force their children to pursue a certain career path such as engineering, law, medical, etc. There are a number of possible factors why children are forced to pursue these particular careers. Among them:-

•  Job security
• Good pay
• Well-known and respectable careers
• Bragging rights
• Kiasu-ism
• Children seems to lack sense of direction

The first 3 points represent parents who wants the best for their children. So, it is understandable why they want their children to go for these kinds of careers. After all, every parents want their children to have a proper and secure future, right?

However, I have met parents who represent the next two points. It seems that inflating their egos are important to them. Usually, they would boast to people that their child is studying engineering or medical, even if the child does not enjoy studying them. There are also parents who force their children to take those careers simply because they do not want to lose out. Perhaps the financial benefits and/or the status-oriented nature of these careers drives them to compete with others as if they are scarce commodities. This might explain the increasingly small and competitive job market. Unbelievable. They would rather give in to their kiasuism at the expense of their children's future. Thank God my parents don't fall into either of the two categories (although they fall under the 'parent-who-wants-the-best-for-their-child' category).

Now, let's talk about the last point. There are those who are clueless about which path to go to. This indecisive moment leaves parents no choice but to force them to go for those career paths just so that they do something. There are also those who usually starts aiming for a path only after SPM/STPM results came out.Some are able to cope with it and eventually got the hang of it. But there are those who crumbles under pressure yet could not escape from it because they don't know where to go. I really pity those who had to go through this kind of scenario. If only they are properly guided and their talents nurtured, they would have a better outcome.

I'm not bashing certain profession here. I agree that these careers are very good and important. But, what must be taken into account are their the children's interests and talents. The truth is, not everyone can cut out to be an engineer, a lawyer or a doctor. But for every engineers, doctors and lawyers, there's also the entrepreneurs, the artists, the writers, the social workers, etc. I think, intrinsic motivation (utilizing God's given talents to enrich humanity) matters more than extrinsic motivation (Good salary and status).

Until then..........